Today’s Verse – Matthew 7:1-2

 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

I thought it would be a good idea to occasionally throw in a verse; you know make myself look more official.  I picked Matthew 7:1-2 for two reasons.  The first is because today was visitation day with my foster son’s parents.  The second is because yesterday I promised to talk about date night.  How do these two subjects have anything to do with each other? 

Foster Care

We became certified foster parents in January of this year and received our first blessing in March.  For the purpose of identification I will call him by his nickname lil G.   I take lil G to see his parents three times a week. They are…I hope you’re sitting…nice people; as are many of the other biological and foster parents at the foster care agency.  You hear a lot of horror stories about foster kids, their parents and the system.  It’s actually not that bad.  Granted it is a peculiar bit of business. I could write a book a la Nanny Diaries on some of the stories I have seen and heard, but to tell you the truth there are Hollywood stories that are more scandalous.

Judge not lest ye be judged.

Date Night aka Love, Listen and Learn

This leads us to what we have all been waiting for, date night. Dh and I try to go on a date at least once a week.  We started doing this after I was inspired by an article I read on Chabad.org (my favorite Orthodox Jewish website). Whether you are newly married, married for 30 years, have kids or are empty nesters, I greatly suggest a weekly social and spiritual update.

Here are the ground rules.

1.   Have a budget.  Ours is usually is $10-$20.

2.   You can’t talk about finances or the kids.

3.   You can’t go to the movies, a concert or any other event where you can’t have a private conversation.  That said those dates are important, but they are not this date.

4.   One person speaks, the other listens.  It goes something like this. 

a.   How was your week?  

b.   How are you doing spiritually?    

c.   How did I do as a husband/wife?  Did I make you feel respected/loved?

5.   The most important part of part 4c is that the questioner/listener cannot defend themselves. This is important because whether you feel the response is justified is irrelevant.  This is how your spouse feels and you need to honor that. Don't judge them for how they feel. Say sorry if need be and acknowledge there may be something you need to work on.  Be humble!

These dates have totally changed how we talk to each other.  I feel safer sharing my discouraging moments and disappointments, because I know he will listen.  He feels the same.  Do we always honor ground rule number 5?  Of course not!  The beauty of the rule is we want to honor it.  Marriage, just like our relationship with G-d is a journey.  Perfection not required, just desired.

It has been a week since I visited, so much to say so little time. Today I’m giving you a recipe.

Food

Since last week, we have had a Taco Night, an Arroz Gandules (aka pigeon and rice) Night, a Chicken Soup Night and a Fried Chicken Night. Our desserts are usually simple.  It's hot in the city right now (NYC), so I like to finish with fresh fruit, cookies or brownies.  All are very inexpensive and quick meals.  Quick as in under an hour and with Taco Night under 30 minutes!  I bake during the coolest part of the day and make enough for a few days.  My favorite part is they all make yummy leftovers.                 

 Taco Night

1 pound chopped meat (beef, chicken or turkey) or beans

                   1 onion (sauteed with chopped meat/beans)

1 box of Taco Kit (Bought on sale at Food Basic, Aldi’s, BJ’s or Costco, with a coupon.  It comes with salsa and seasonings.)

Rice (2 cups uncooked)

Your sides of choice

          Lettuce

Cheese (Always buy the biggest block your family can eat in 2 weeks.  It’s cheaper.)

Shredded Carrots (It’s a sneaky way to get your kids to eat vegetables)

Guacamole (Simple – mashed Avocado, crushed garlic, chopped cilantro, splash          of lime to taste)

Etc.

This recipe should feed a family of four with leftovers for lunch the next day.  Tell your teenage boy to eat more rice and shredded carrots not meat. 

“Leftovers for Lunch!”

Of course!  My husband goes to work every day and unless he forgets he takes his lunch.  I am usually home by early afternoon, so I fix a little something when I get in.  Leftovers saves us $7.00 a day, $35 a week or $175 a month.  I don’t know about you, but around here every penny counts. There is an occasional splurge, but rarely. 

Making a little extra for lunch is a frugal Urbanista must.  That way you don’t feel guilty eating out on date night.  What’s date night you ask?  Tune in tomorrow.

Hello and Welcome

Hello.  My name is Nilaja.  I am happily married to Frank and am currently the mother to two boys.  I say currently because one is on loan.  We are foster parents.  I am starting this blog to keep track of the things I learn as I try to become a better keeper of my home.  Not that I know anything about being frugal nor am I an expert homeschooler, wife, mother or disciple of Christ.  What I am is a someone trying to finish the race led by the scriptures, a ton of online devotional, my husband's advice and my son's suggestions.  This blog is my way of keeping track of what I learn as I try.  I will post books, links to website that inspire me and our family's day to day experiences (with discretion, of course)  Please feel free to comment, provide suggestions or just say hello.  I will post at least once a week, sometimes more.

A few warnings:

1.  I am no expert.  I just read to much.
2.  I am incredibly prideful and will occasionally wax eloquently about my family, husband and church.
3.  I have a very eclectic way of living.  You may be occasionally shocked by its randomness.


Thanks for joining my!

God Bless
Nilaja