It's almost Christmas.  It seems as though the year has been pulled from under me.  So much has happened in so little time.  Since I last logged on (forever ago), my little one, Baby G, has returned to his parents.  A great loss to us and wonderful gift to his parents.  I pray for them every night and hope that the seed of God's mercy and grace was planted in that boy's heart and that his parents will learn of the peace that comes with it.

I also taught my last college level course, at least for the foreseeable future.  I am not teaching after the break or during the summer, so only He knows what is next.  The beauty of it is I can finally organize my office and get some research done.  I have two projects I am interested in starting.  One is on the history of foster care among African Americans in NY.  I would also like to start working on an African American History for Homeschoolers curriculum. Who knows? If I can stay off of Facebook perhaps all three will be finished by August.

BS (Biological Son) is winding down his fall semester. One of the highlights of being home for the Spring will be my ability on focusing on his schooling.  This fall was humbling for us both.  It forced me to recognize my need to trust in God  and put my family first in all things.

DH has been getting commissions on his artwork and I must say they are pretty spectacular. More on those coming up.

Have a wonderful holiday and God Bless you and yours.

Nilaja

You ever wonder how you can be so busy, but feel like not much is getting done.  I have found a solution.  Write a list of the things in your life that are non-negotiable.  My list is simple; God, family and my need for intellectual stimulation.  What is on your list?  If whatever comes along doesn't fit in the parameters of your primary categories it is negotiable.  Now this blog fits under the third category.  I even figured out how to keep it current.  Instead of surfing Facebook, I can drop a quick note in here.  I call that time frugality.  Is frugality a word?  

Food frugality is high on my list right now too.  Meat is expensive and too much of it is not good for you. That said I am trying to do a 3/4 balance in my weekly dinner menu.  Three nights of the week we have meat with our meal and four nights a week dinner is vegetarian.  It's cheaper and enables my husband and I to stay in our current clothing size.  See it's a two for.  Less meat enables you to save on groceries and clothing.  Speaking of groceries, I promised a recipe the last time I was here. Hmmm.  Thursday is a vegetarian dinner night. Recipe and pics to come.

Good night folks.

It has been six weeks!  I can't believe how time flies.  During that time, I gained a son, prepped for a new year, took amazing courses on strengthening your marriage and church leadership, and if that weren't enough had a smidgen of time to plan the new home school year.  (If you were wondering where I had gone.)

I have three boys. The big guy is my biological son.  He's a teenager and will most likely be in a number of post concerning God's lessons to me about patience and understanding.  The middle guy joined us recently.  He is sweet as a button and smiles 85% of the day.  The littlest dude is our baby.  He's an infant going on 25. Last week he decided to teach me who was boss.  45 minutes of a tantrum later, I think I won, but he smiled devilishly at me when I finally picked him up. This guy is supposed to be premature;  special needs, my tukhus (That's yiddish for your hind parts.  You pick up a few words in my neck of the words.)

Speaking of yiddish, New Yorkers are preparing for school to start this year and with September comes the Jewish High Holy Days.  My family commemorate Rosh HaShana, Succos and Passover as biblical traditions so next week I too shall be cooking with millions of women around the world.  Rosh HaShana is my oldest favorite holiday, next to Christmas.  It's the Jewish New Year and it is all about sweetness.  Apples are dipped in honey. There is honey cake, lamb roasted with dry fruits, and challah (a Jewish bread) made with honey, raisins and cinnamon; just to name a few yummy dishes..  Everything is sweet in hopes of a sweet year.  I will post my favorite recipes next week and maybe a few picks of the food.

Since I have been gone so long, tomorrow I promise a little encouragement a yummy recipe and a lesson I learned in one of my classes.

Ta, ta!

Traveling on the Cheap

Promises, promises.  I know I said I'd be back in a week, I really do need to get better at that.  Time goes by so fast when your juggling.  I promised you a view of my travel secrets.  So far my family has traveled to Montreal for $500 and the Fingerlakes of NY for $450.  Each trip took careful planning, websurfing and patience.  First I'll tell you about Montreal.

A couple of summers ago, my family decided we want to see Montreal. First, I sent a shout out to friends and family on Facebook to find out if anyone knew of an opportunity to house sit. A friend of mine  hooked me up with a friend of hers who was going away at exactly the time I wanted.  Social media is a fabulous way to get free digs. Then, I checked flights. Even the cheap airlines wanted to fly the three of us for no less than $600.  I considered the bus, but you know...you get to an age where long distance trips on Greyhound remind you of a M Night Shyamalan film, without the existential underlying theme. Next stop Amtrak; I scored with three tickets, round trip, for $205.  How you ask? I am a member of Amtrak's reward program.  The tickets were originally a little over $300 for three.  ( I know that is obscene!) I joined their rewards program when I was in grad school and traveled almost monthly to Charlottesville, VA.  I used 3000 points (1 point for every mile) for my ticket.  My son was under 11, so his ticket was discounted and we had AAA (you don't have to have a car to be a member, for an additional 10% off.  It was like having a big coupon!

We all love train travel.  It's a great way to see the country.  I of course brought our lunch and dinner for the trip.  We treated ourselves to breakfast when we arrived in Canada's homage to Paris! The home we scored was lovely and in the center of an up and coming artsy neighborhood. An added bonus was the park directly across the street, where free performances of Shakespeare were given each night we were there.  Being able to cook meals also helped us stay in budget. For tourist stuff I sought out coupons, and used my membership to the Hall of Science in NYC to get into the Hall of Science Montreal for FREE!  Check the lobbies of hotel chains (Econolodge, Marriot Courtyard, Super 8)  for coupon booklets.  If you don't see one, ask the information desk or concierge.

Now, how did I do the same thing in the Fingerlakes.  The first lesson is to never rent a house.  We stayed at a campground, Shiloh on Hatch, shilohonhatch.com.  For $200 we spent a week in a cabin with a kitchenette that slept 5 people.  The bathroom was next door but you get used to that. It was a bit rustic, but clean.  You saw the picture of the lake, it was worth rustic.  There are also houses, with porches and 1-2 bathrooms.  They sleep 5-14 people and range from $300-$500 during the summer. Shiloh is a private facility, but there are cabins in federal and state owned parks that can be rented.  We stayed at Gilbert Lake, in Upstate New York, about 8 years ago.  We spent $300 for a week in a log cabin.  It was beautiful.  Keep in mind, most places will require you to bring your own linens and a few your own kitchen supplies.  Check it out at www.reserveamerica.com.

Vacation and the Homeschool Catalog Season!

I broke my promise. My entries were supposed to be weekly, but as you can see from the picture, I was a bit distracted.  The family and I vacationed in the Finger Lakes last week.  It was FABULOUS! One week in the mountains and we did it for $450.  Not bad, if I do say so myself.  That total is for gas, lodging, food and forgotten items (I'll explain in a later post).  One of the yummiest parts of the trip was a Jalapeno Cornbread  I threw together.  Last night I poured it over chili and made something Slap Your Momma good.

Chili
1 med. onion chopped
2 Tbsp oil
2 cans of Black/Garbanzo/Red Kidney Beans (I used garbanzo/chick peas)
1 1/2 cups pasta sauce (preferably homemade, but that's another post)
1 Tbsp Chili Seasoning
1 Tsp salt

Place oil and onions in cast iron or other stove top to oven safe pan.  Cook until slightly golden.  Add remaining ingredients.  Cook at medium heat for 15-20 minutes.  While this cooks, prepare topping.


Jalapeno Cornbread Topping

2 Tbsp jarred Jalapeno (You can use fresh by finely chopping up one medium pepper.  No Seeds!)
1 1/4 cup all purpose flour
3/4 cup corn meal
1/4 cup sugar
2 Tsp baking powder
1/2 Tsp salt
1 cup Rice Milk/Soy Milk/Chicken Stock
1/4 cup oil
1 egg, beaten
(This recipe, sans jalepenos, is from the Quaker Yellow Corn Meal Box)

Mix dry ingredients.  Stir in wet ingredients. Pour over chili. Bake until cornbread is ready.  20-25 minutes.

I left it on the stove thinking it would be whole when I returned.  Oops.  Where do I think I live?

Homeschool Catalog Madness

I have very few addictions.  One of them is homeschool catalogs.  It combines my love of window shopping, in catalogs, with my obsession with learning.  My poor son.  It is a good thing I have only assigned 7 hours from Monday to Friday for instructed learning, because I want him to learn everything.  Have you ever seen one of these books.  I will peruse almost any one, but I have my favorites.  Here are some of them with my reasons.

Christianbook.com -  They sell numerous boxed curriculum and individual subject titles.  They are also carry fiction novels at incredibly discounted prices.

Rainbowresource.com - This company sends out a yearly catalog that is over 1000 pages.  I call it my great big book of everything.  If I need it, they seem to have it.  It's the Sears catalog of homeschooling.  (You have to be American and of a certain age to get that one.) 

Visionforum.com - This is a very conservative Christian company.  They have a very distinct understanding of what boys should do and what girls should do.  What I love, is the toys!  Real bows and arrows, beautiful dolls and spy kits are some of my favorite items.  They also have a number of books that have helped me to understand and embrace biblical womanhood.

Veritaspress.com - This is a classical homeschooling company. Think the history of Western Civilization with a focus on Christianity.  We homeschool in an eclectic manner, but the classical curriculum is our foundation.  I'll talk more about this as we get closer to the school year (and I have figured out my lesson plan).

This year will be my third year of consistent homeschooling.  My son will be in 8th grade and looking toward high school; possibly out in the big world.  We will see.  Pray for me.

Tune in next time.  I'm going to explain that $450 vacation and how to make 1lb of ground beef last 3 meals.

Today’s Verse – Matthew 7:1-2

 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

I thought it would be a good idea to occasionally throw in a verse; you know make myself look more official.  I picked Matthew 7:1-2 for two reasons.  The first is because today was visitation day with my foster son’s parents.  The second is because yesterday I promised to talk about date night.  How do these two subjects have anything to do with each other? 

Foster Care

We became certified foster parents in January of this year and received our first blessing in March.  For the purpose of identification I will call him by his nickname lil G.   I take lil G to see his parents three times a week. They are…I hope you’re sitting…nice people; as are many of the other biological and foster parents at the foster care agency.  You hear a lot of horror stories about foster kids, their parents and the system.  It’s actually not that bad.  Granted it is a peculiar bit of business. I could write a book a la Nanny Diaries on some of the stories I have seen and heard, but to tell you the truth there are Hollywood stories that are more scandalous.

Judge not lest ye be judged.

Date Night aka Love, Listen and Learn

This leads us to what we have all been waiting for, date night. Dh and I try to go on a date at least once a week.  We started doing this after I was inspired by an article I read on Chabad.org (my favorite Orthodox Jewish website). Whether you are newly married, married for 30 years, have kids or are empty nesters, I greatly suggest a weekly social and spiritual update.

Here are the ground rules.

1.   Have a budget.  Ours is usually is $10-$20.

2.   You can’t talk about finances or the kids.

3.   You can’t go to the movies, a concert or any other event where you can’t have a private conversation.  That said those dates are important, but they are not this date.

4.   One person speaks, the other listens.  It goes something like this. 

a.   How was your week?  

b.   How are you doing spiritually?    

c.   How did I do as a husband/wife?  Did I make you feel respected/loved?

5.   The most important part of part 4c is that the questioner/listener cannot defend themselves. This is important because whether you feel the response is justified is irrelevant.  This is how your spouse feels and you need to honor that. Don't judge them for how they feel. Say sorry if need be and acknowledge there may be something you need to work on.  Be humble!

These dates have totally changed how we talk to each other.  I feel safer sharing my discouraging moments and disappointments, because I know he will listen.  He feels the same.  Do we always honor ground rule number 5?  Of course not!  The beauty of the rule is we want to honor it.  Marriage, just like our relationship with G-d is a journey.  Perfection not required, just desired.

It has been a week since I visited, so much to say so little time. Today I’m giving you a recipe.

Food

Since last week, we have had a Taco Night, an Arroz Gandules (aka pigeon and rice) Night, a Chicken Soup Night and a Fried Chicken Night. Our desserts are usually simple.  It's hot in the city right now (NYC), so I like to finish with fresh fruit, cookies or brownies.  All are very inexpensive and quick meals.  Quick as in under an hour and with Taco Night under 30 minutes!  I bake during the coolest part of the day and make enough for a few days.  My favorite part is they all make yummy leftovers.                 

 Taco Night

1 pound chopped meat (beef, chicken or turkey) or beans

                   1 onion (sauteed with chopped meat/beans)

1 box of Taco Kit (Bought on sale at Food Basic, Aldi’s, BJ’s or Costco, with a coupon.  It comes with salsa and seasonings.)

Rice (2 cups uncooked)

Your sides of choice

          Lettuce

Cheese (Always buy the biggest block your family can eat in 2 weeks.  It’s cheaper.)

Shredded Carrots (It’s a sneaky way to get your kids to eat vegetables)

Guacamole (Simple – mashed Avocado, crushed garlic, chopped cilantro, splash          of lime to taste)

Etc.

This recipe should feed a family of four with leftovers for lunch the next day.  Tell your teenage boy to eat more rice and shredded carrots not meat. 

“Leftovers for Lunch!”

Of course!  My husband goes to work every day and unless he forgets he takes his lunch.  I am usually home by early afternoon, so I fix a little something when I get in.  Leftovers saves us $7.00 a day, $35 a week or $175 a month.  I don’t know about you, but around here every penny counts. There is an occasional splurge, but rarely. 

Making a little extra for lunch is a frugal Urbanista must.  That way you don’t feel guilty eating out on date night.  What’s date night you ask?  Tune in tomorrow.

Hello and Welcome

Hello.  My name is Nilaja.  I am happily married to Frank and am currently the mother to two boys.  I say currently because one is on loan.  We are foster parents.  I am starting this blog to keep track of the things I learn as I try to become a better keeper of my home.  Not that I know anything about being frugal nor am I an expert homeschooler, wife, mother or disciple of Christ.  What I am is a someone trying to finish the race led by the scriptures, a ton of online devotional, my husband's advice and my son's suggestions.  This blog is my way of keeping track of what I learn as I try.  I will post books, links to website that inspire me and our family's day to day experiences (with discretion, of course)  Please feel free to comment, provide suggestions or just say hello.  I will post at least once a week, sometimes more.

A few warnings:

1.  I am no expert.  I just read to much.
2.  I am incredibly prideful and will occasionally wax eloquently about my family, husband and church.
3.  I have a very eclectic way of living.  You may be occasionally shocked by its randomness.


Thanks for joining my!

God Bless
Nilaja